Re: 2018 ZCF XI
Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:54 am
Someone did an emerging ZCF 2018 XI last year to take on the ZCF decade XI. It is probably time to have a ZCF Masters XI too, the guys in the boozers league who are much better any day than the pretenders at the ZCF XI. So here goes, my contribution to this wonderful yearly tradition of eugene 
ZCF Masters XI - Long time members / old timers, mostly missing on the scene, but still have a lot to contribute to "the cause":
maehara: The missing legendary skipper, still has what it takes to beat the s*&t out of the opposition as well as his own teammates.
aydee: The ever dependable opener ZCF badly needs in this age of severe talent crunch at the top of the order. Our very own Trevor "Che Pujara" Gripper.
FlowerPower: See below.
Flower power: 3 and 4. The Flower brothers who were so prolific at ZCF at the same time but led to mistaken identity, would form a formidable upper middle order just like the real Flower brothers did for Zim in the international arena for such a long time.
cricket_22001: A solid Steve Waugh-esque no.5 with all the stats on the fingertips to turn the match on its head at any given point.
PieChucker: As the name suggestes, a pie-chucker offie who bats a bit. Not sure why he is there really, but when the team is down after the usual maulings, can get the spirits up through his limericks. Comes with strong recommendation from Malcolm Waller.
Boundary: We need to find some "boundary options" lower down the order. Who better? Also the team wicket keeper.
gargamel: Solid Heath Streak-esque no. 8 who gives it his all with bat, ball, news and views.
Utseyalitharan: Yeah, the lone "spinner" in the team. You can't ignore a forum name like that. We are talking about 810 test wickets here.
Kopje: Medium pacer who just trundles in and bowls, a la Nkala, Mupariwa, Brent, Tiripano, etc. Discipline is his forte, but when there is no swing, doesn't do much.
clickspeed: With that username, can generate pace of 160+ kph all day long. A no brainer selection in the playing XI.
Rest of the squad:
andy24: Batting backup, "Stream unearther".
Sir Mupariwa: Pace bowling backup knighted for once bowling the fastest slower ball in cricketing history, at 111 kph.
Lostart: Look up "Elton Chigumbura".
FlashG: No one knows what he brings to the table. This is like that Utseya selection in the CWC 2015 squad. But according to the now-sacked coach's (see below) conspiracy theories, he could be the team snitch trying to overthrow the skipper maehara.
Coach:
Bayhaus: Specializes in coaching conspiracy theories so that the team is up for it no matter what. Brought in the "win at all costs" attitude till PieChucker was caught with sand paper in his pocket on a match thread. Then replaced as coach by:
zimdan: To bring credibility back to the ZCF Master XI.
p.s.: PieChucker retained his place in the playing XI by arguing that he used the sand paper to write his limericks on them as and when inspiration hit him while the match was on.
Selectors:
jontym87, jimmylesaint - Some say that the selection announcements are more sought after events than the on-field performances themselves since the time these two have taken over the selection duties.
Team Talent Scout:
NickG: Rumour has it that he is being paid by ECBF to scout talent out of ZCF... Master XI regulars zimfan1 and Train Driver have landed multi-year Kolpak deals in the last 3 months with SomersetCF and SussexCF respectively to add more weight to that rumour. zimfan1 was offered a contract to tweet exclusively but not to post on ZCF, but he has cheekily appeared on ZCF a few times, risking his contract but keeping the hopes up for those who expect a full fledged ZCF comeback from him. There is a story developing there...
ZCF Masters XI - Long time members / old timers, mostly missing on the scene, but still have a lot to contribute to "the cause":
maehara: The missing legendary skipper, still has what it takes to beat the s*&t out of the opposition as well as his own teammates.
aydee: The ever dependable opener ZCF badly needs in this age of severe talent crunch at the top of the order. Our very own Trevor "Che Pujara" Gripper.
FlowerPower: See below.
Flower power: 3 and 4. The Flower brothers who were so prolific at ZCF at the same time but led to mistaken identity, would form a formidable upper middle order just like the real Flower brothers did for Zim in the international arena for such a long time.
cricket_22001: A solid Steve Waugh-esque no.5 with all the stats on the fingertips to turn the match on its head at any given point.
PieChucker: As the name suggestes, a pie-chucker offie who bats a bit. Not sure why he is there really, but when the team is down after the usual maulings, can get the spirits up through his limericks. Comes with strong recommendation from Malcolm Waller.
Boundary: We need to find some "boundary options" lower down the order. Who better? Also the team wicket keeper.
gargamel: Solid Heath Streak-esque no. 8 who gives it his all with bat, ball, news and views.
Utseyalitharan: Yeah, the lone "spinner" in the team. You can't ignore a forum name like that. We are talking about 810 test wickets here.
Kopje: Medium pacer who just trundles in and bowls, a la Nkala, Mupariwa, Brent, Tiripano, etc. Discipline is his forte, but when there is no swing, doesn't do much.
clickspeed: With that username, can generate pace of 160+ kph all day long. A no brainer selection in the playing XI.
Rest of the squad:
andy24: Batting backup, "Stream unearther".
Sir Mupariwa: Pace bowling backup knighted for once bowling the fastest slower ball in cricketing history, at 111 kph.
Lostart: Look up "Elton Chigumbura".
FlashG: No one knows what he brings to the table. This is like that Utseya selection in the CWC 2015 squad. But according to the now-sacked coach's (see below) conspiracy theories, he could be the team snitch trying to overthrow the skipper maehara.
Coach:
Bayhaus: Specializes in coaching conspiracy theories so that the team is up for it no matter what. Brought in the "win at all costs" attitude till PieChucker was caught with sand paper in his pocket on a match thread. Then replaced as coach by:
zimdan: To bring credibility back to the ZCF Master XI.
p.s.: PieChucker retained his place in the playing XI by arguing that he used the sand paper to write his limericks on them as and when inspiration hit him while the match was on.
Selectors:
jontym87, jimmylesaint - Some say that the selection announcements are more sought after events than the on-field performances themselves since the time these two have taken over the selection duties.
Team Talent Scout:
NickG: Rumour has it that he is being paid by ECBF to scout talent out of ZCF... Master XI regulars zimfan1 and Train Driver have landed multi-year Kolpak deals in the last 3 months with SomersetCF and SussexCF respectively to add more weight to that rumour. zimfan1 was offered a contract to tweet exclusively but not to post on ZCF, but he has cheekily appeared on ZCF a few times, risking his contract but keeping the hopes up for those who expect a full fledged ZCF comeback from him. There is a story developing there...
