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Needed a new ZC Chairman:apply within

Posted: Wed May 16, 2018 8:39 am
by jimmylesaint
Current incumbent would probably use cricket bat as a hammer or for firewood but he can sure mix up some pediatric antibiotics in quick time. He is by profession an Indian trained (we not sure where or what this means.. but looking into it) Pharmacist. We think he got lost and happened to be voted in by mistake, there are rumours that he is related to Thamsanqa Jantjie the sign languager with the top job that really didn't know what his job entailed but brazenly just made shit up as he went along.
The current encumbent has no notable experience in playing cricket although at one stage he did manage to grow himself a mendevu similar to Merv Hughes(whoever that is v :o ) so a big positive on his future CV for doing that.
The current incumbent has despite being the boss alleged that the UAE game was fixed. One assumes his anger is not knowing if it was....or wasn't. He also managed to allegedly imply the son of the soil Heath Streak was racist in his dealings with the team a complete red herring designed to detract from how incompetent the ZC Board have been who have no assets yet are in debt by 20 million??!?!

The applicant must have played for just more than their junior school first team where there were only 9cricketers to pick from.
Th applicant must ideally be a seasoned national cricketer. (that hasn't lied about his certificates)
The applicant must be patriotic and not given to acts of treason nor misconduct in public office.
The applicant must not be a Johnny Walker drinker and in particular not make executive decisions during the 3rd bottle of JW.
The applicant must not have ideas of political dizzy heights as sport and bullshit don't work together.
The applicant heaven forbid.... may be white, Indian, Chinese, coloured or any other minority,culture,creed, sex, religion etc....because we are all Zimbabweans!
The applicant must ooze transparency, accountability and good governance.
The position will be opening shortly :W:

Re: Needed a new ZC Chairman:apply within

Posted: Wed May 16, 2018 9:45 am
by TapsC
Hope this is the good news we have been waiting for. Is it just him though? Or has been sacrificed by the real thieves..

Re: Needed a new ZC Chairman:apply within

Posted: Wed May 16, 2018 12:52 pm
by ZIMDOGGY
I'll do it.

Yeah I'll take a little $omething for myself if I can BUT by and large I'll have the interests of ZC at heart.

Re: Needed a new ZC Chairman:apply within

Posted: Wed May 16, 2018 3:40 pm
by jimmylesaint
The job is yours IF
you can answer the following(it doesn't have to even be correct...but simply answered because we are hiring you for your experience not your ability to get accredited. Nxa!)

1)Do you hold the cricket bat like a budza A)yes B)no
2)Where do your fingers go if you want to bowl a ball? A)in your pocket b)on the ball
3)To steal without getting caught do you take A)160% so the company goes into debt B)10%