2016 ZCF XI

[eugene]

With 2016 coming to an end, it is time for my annual tradition of announcing the ZCF XI. As always I employ the same strategies employed by ZC to select the lineup. This year marks the fifth time a ZCF XI has been announced. Previous years can be found here:

2012: http://zimcricketforums.com/viewtopic.p ... 36&p=46995
2013: http://zimcricketforums.com/viewtopic.p ... ZCF+annual
2014: http://zimcricketforums.com/viewtopic.p ... +xi+eugene
2015: http://zimcricketforums.com/viewtopic.p ... +xi+eugene


Without further ado, here is the 2016 ZCF XI:

1. ZIMDOGGY: Returns to the team after a year on the sidelines for steroid use. Has been angling for a management role as he likes making money in exchange for no effort. Maehara mangongo however quashed ZIMDOGGYs dreams and forced him to open instead.
2. STONEMAN: SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME YELLING ABOUT TEAM SELECTIONS AND QUOTAS. HIS MAIN TALENT SEEMS TO BE SLEDGING HIS FELLOW BATTING PARTNER ZIMDOGGY.
3. Detective RDS: The brains of the side, seems to spend most of his time reading the newspaper. Appointed test captain after the sacking of aydee.
4. Jemisi: A forumite, who for obvious reasons requires no introduction.
5. eugene: Reverts to the middle order since the removal of the coaching triumvirate hhm, ZCF_Outkast, and bavuma_rabada. Was rumoured to be an addition to the selection panel, but his enthusiasm for the role waned when he realised only eleven guys can "get in the team" at any one time.
6. CrimsonAvenger: A fan favourite, finally has his camera back from Maehara mangongo.
7. brmtaylor.com: Has made a return from boozers cricket in the UK. Walks back into the side despite having no decent performances to speak of.
8. Mueddie28: Doesn't know who he is, who anyone else is, or where he is. The perfect choice for wicketkeeper.
9. Googly: Has been proclaiming the death of the ZCF XI for five years now. Makes the cut due to his business acumen and expertise at procuring the team kit.
10. totoro: Rumoured to be even faster than fellow forumite Gerald Aliseni, totoro makes the cut despite questions about his action and no memorable performances to speak of.
11. Train Driver: Neither bats nor bowls and sent into field at leg-slip. Seemingly being marginalized my the management team with the shadowy watermelon rumoured to be pulling the strings.


Coach: anusha_gamage: ZCF XI has finally realised that the coaching position is irrelevant, thus they hired the first person who showed up for the group interview at the local KFC and knew how many guys are in a cricket team.

Doctor: Dr_Situ (ZimFanatic): Having had his spin bowling banned for a questionable action, and failing to perform with his sluggish medium pacers, "Dr" Situ has been promoted to team doctor, despite questions of forged credentials.

Nutritionist: watermelon: Not really sure what this guy does, but it probably isn't good. Seems to always accompany the team on foreign tours and has been spotted trading antiquities with shady looking businessman in hotel basement carparks. Lurks outside the Harare KFC hoping to catch players in the act of eating.

Manager: Maehara mangongo: Only comes into work once every two months; due for a government commendation for his tireless efforts in promoting Zimbabwean cricket.


Changes from 2015:
aydee: Dismissed as test captain after two consecutive failures as an opener. Aiming to make the 10th annual ZCF XI.
foreignfield: Defected to the German cricket team as he was tired of losing.
SpitfiresKent: Sent back to England, along with all of our promising youngsters.
jaybro: Dropped after a run-in with the team nutritionist. His love of KFC became too much.
Conant: Retired from cricket altogether to focus full-time on his farm he shares with Googly.

[Jemisi]

The self-portrait is my favourite.

A welcome tradition continues.

My own defense has been solid whereas my bowling has lacked some penetration at times. So I am happy with the move to 4.

[Detective RDS]

3. Detective RDS: The brains of the side, seems to spend most of his time reading the newspaper. Appointed test captain after the sacking of aydee.

Wow, it's a great honor for me to lead the Zimbabwean test side. Hope I can revive the cricket of Zimbabwe, finally put an end to the war of races and take Zimbabwe to a new era of glory and jubilation. Just hope I can stick around like Craig Ervine and not sacked.

Coach: anusha_gamage: ZCF XI has finally realised that the coaching position is irrelevant, thus they hired the first person who showed up for the group interview at the local KFC and knew how many guys are in a cricket team.

The coaching trio of last year hhm, ZCF_Outkast, and bavuma_rabada have been sacked. Only one of them was shown at a time. @Eugene, can you please elaborate what happened to the famous trio ? It was so innovative for ZCF to appoint 3 coaches all-together. From my newspaper knowledge ( ), I read they have relocated to South Africa ( ) and planning to install Omphile Ramela in the test XI and make him the test captain. He averages 29.97 in 94 FC matches which is according to them more than enough for test standard ( ).

[totoro]

Yay! I made the team for the first time.

Save me for an important match, because my action is shocking.

[gargamel]

Humm feel hard done as ive missed out for the second year running need to put in more overs and get big runs on the domestic scene

[brmtaylor.com admin]

I'm scared of a comical run out if I'm on 99 and Mueddie28 is up the other end.

[tej_27]

i shud have made the cut too ..as a rising star with no first class experience found countryside ..every team has one such player

[CrimsonAvenger]

With 2016 coming to an end, it is time for my annual tradition of announcing the ZCF XI. As always I employ the same strategies employed by ZC to select the lineup.

Classic year-end laughter

More than happy to bat at 6 as my leg spin continues to desert me. Typical Zimbabwean leggie who turns himself into a batsman (or so we think).

Particularly enjoyed the descriptions about batting slots of 5, 7 and 8, as well as the coach and the reasoning behind Conant's exclusion.

shades of dumping Hamilton in aydee's unfortunate demotion and dropping.

Humm feel hard done as ive missed out for the second year running need to put in more overs and get big runs on the domestic scene

Yes this was a horrific omission, but can only be explained by the fact that this is an XI chosen for Zim Cricket cause. It can't be complete with some utterly shocking exclusions and inclusions.

[foreignfield]

Nice one, as usual, Eugene

foreignfield: Defected to the German cricket team as he was tired of losing.

A move that certainly paid off. When did Zimbabwe last win an ICC tournament? http://www.cricket.de/champions-germany ... #more-4298

After that triumph, and having failed in my attempts to teach the media manager some German, I'm eyeing a return to the ZCF side next year. I now know all about thrashing Gibraltar and the Isle of Man, so bring on England!

[Mueddie28]

I'm scared of a comical run out if I'm on 99 and Mueddie28 is up the other end.

Mueddie28 witcketkeeper with guts, glory & a little of passion... Something that lacks in model day black Zimbabwe Cricketers.... Remember Olonga