Zimbabwe vs New Zealand | Test Series | Second Test | 07 August 2025 - 11 August 2025

[secretzimbo]

Another test match over by the end of Day 1.

As I also said at the end of Day 1 in the last Test, nobody is expecting us to beat these sides but fuck me, losing in this manner literally on the first day every single time is very depressing. You just want to see at least a bit of fight, a bit of something. Some positives. There's almost nothing.

The only positive is that BT looks younger and slimmer than he has for the past 10+ years and if his head is in the right place, which it clearly never was ever since he went to Nottingham, then thats a huge positive. It's just a shame we have almost no one else with him. I know the NZ bowling is obviously world-class, but yeah, it's Test cricket - what are we expecting? New Zealand are 5th in the world I think. 4th in the last WTC. Very good but not even the best. And we can't even half-compete for 1 day? It's so poor.

Williams & Raza obviously have the ability but their form has dipped and so we have literally nothing else. Ervine has honestly not contributed very much in recent year and his captaincy doesn't seem to work either on the field or off it. He isn't a winner, and I'm not sure he knows how to win. Say what you like about Raza, and clearly his personality rubs some people up the wrong way, but he's a tryer and a fighter and he wants to win. Ervine was never considered captain material and never in any captaincy discussions until there was literally no one else available so they gave him the armband. Sorry to criticise such a great long-serving player of ours but he isn't it. Captaincy burden has probably affected his batting form too. The eyes go for everyone at some point and I think his have, he jut doesn't seem to see the ball coming on like he used to. I really hope he proves me wrong and can keep going at a high level for a year or two but it looks bleak.

Bennett has been worked out already. It's amazing how these top teams clearly do their research and have plans and stick to them, for every opposition batter. Our bowlers never seem to have this. We just seem to turn up and bowl randomly and hope for the best. Clearly teams have done their research of Brian and it shows. Obviously still an amazing talent though. Stick with him.

Welch looks less than convincing yet again. He has a lot of super fans but he isn't delivering. He's had some good starts and a couple of 50's but hasn't kicked on and in the last few innings just hasn't looked comfortable. Hands so hard they must be made of concrete. Just won't work in this format if he plays like that against bowling of this quality.

A little bit of fight for the third innings in a row from Tsiga which is pleasing I suppose. But I'm still not hugely convinced by either his keeping or his batting, but at least he's better than Clive it seems.


We are all very quick to focus on the disastrous batting but our bowling is rubbish. It has been rubbish for quite a while. Blessing is good obviously but he struggles when there is fuck all support from the other end. Chivanga was good vs SA but has been quite shit this series, he's just so inconsistent. Gwandu is the classic guy that will look really good in the Logan Cup taking a few wickets at 9am at HSC but is bang average at this level. We just don't look like taking a wicket ever. Why did they discard Gimu after only 1 match?!?! He looks to have way more potential than given credit for. Our bowling attack is transformed with Gimu and/or Evans in it, and hopefully Ngarava can get in the gym and lose some weight and come back as a threat in this format. Not convinced Vincent offers much more threat than any of our other standard spinners we've seen over recent years. Is he much more threatening than Masakadza, Ndlovu, Mavuta, Mufudza, etc? If Raza and Williams are both bowling then whats the point? Playing Raza as the premier spinner and batting at 7 is an option in Tests.

I don't like calling out and criticising players but we are really so far off the pace it's hard not to.

Also we sacked Dave Houghton for this Salmon guy and Ebrahim and co but nothing has really changed. Clearly our problems are way way way way deeper than the coach, and basically no coach in the world could turn this ship around considering the wider issues, but still Salmon can't be completely absolved of criticism.

Not to worry, we'll pick Cremer next time and the geriatric dinosaur XI will rumble on, papering over the fact that ZC have barely developed a single world class cricketer in 25 years. Hamilton Masakadza is topping 150kg these days but maybe he can waddle onto the field and make a return too? Tino Mawoyo talks a good game, maybe give him a call? Ffs. When all these elderly guys retire after 2027 we are truly in the abyss. It's finished.

Maybe we need to get Lord Mhishi to conduct another 'comprehensive review' into the game and make some 'recommendations'. That was a success wasn't it?!?! Months of 'work' , and probably great expense, all to decide we should sack Dave and replace him with a Yes-Man from south of the border, and build some indoor centres the first of which at HSC appears to have been abandoned halfway through construction. Brilliant.

These guys wouldn't know what cricket was even if it jumped up and shagged their wives.

[secretzimbo]

Reading the usual shit takes and general nonsense from the rabid retards on social media just makes it all even more depressing.

[CholeZimbo]

Good post mate. Especially on the professionalism of top sides. Even against Zimbabwe they are so professional that they take time to work out every batsman. That’s how serious cricket is with the top nations. Matt Henry celebrates every wicket against us. It’s that big, it’s that serious! They worked out Raza, last game they even knew Bennet had a concussion from a bouncer and they tried that too. Amazing.

[Andy31]

I have never wanted tier test cricket but this may be what is needed.

They really should have played SA and NZ once and saved some coin.

[CholeZimbo]

They even know how to bowl around the wicket into Willow and target the stumps, especially his leg stump and know that he may have figured this out, then give him that one late out swinging one. Very efficient, effective kind of bowling.

When our boys are bowling I can’t even pick out what their plan is, because they dish out six different deliveries.

Let’s be honest, real cricketers we have ever produced:

Andy Flower
Branden Taylor
Heath Streak
Sean Williams

[Andy31]

They even know how to bowl around the wicket into Willow and target the stumps, especially his leg stump and know that he may have figured this out, then give him that one late out swinging one. Very efficient, effective kind of bowling.

When our boys are bowling I can’t even pick out what their plan is, because they dish out six different deliveries.

Let’s be honest, real cricketers we have ever produced:

Andy Flower
Branden Taylor
Heath Streak
Sean Williams

I noticed straight away for this test they went around the wicket straight away.

I find our bowling/ field placemats tend to have no imagination. Which can come back to bowlers not having the skills or Craig not willing to task risk or think creatively.

[TapsC2]

Pure professionalism. If there is something we can learn over the last 3 months is how top teams take everything seriously and leave nothing to chance. They will have a plan for anyone they consider a threat. They know the passengers too.

It's also why it's so difficult to be a successful international player these days. There is video evidence of your weaknesses. It doesn't help that our local commentators are quick to point out the flaws in every single one of our guys. That really annoys me

[ZIMDOGGY]

Branden Taylor

I have observed for 20 years our fans butchering the name of our best batsman.

BRENDAN.

Brandon/Branden isnt even a popular name outside of the tv series beverly hills 90210

It's not targeted at you personally for the most part but it kind of is a little....how the f do you not know his name by now?

[CholeZimbo]

sorry Doggy point taken

[ZIMDOGGY]

sorry Doggy point taken

lol all good brother